Tw: body shaming, tease, stalking
I got a text from one of the guys at my school. It was a compliment- ‘so beautiful’. I saw the text and laughed.
It’s the same person who body shamed me, humiliated me everyday from standard 7th to 9th, everyday.
There was this group of guys that made fun of every girl in the class and the respect system also worked according to your face and figure.
I never thought I’ll be talking about this, it was difficult to even open that message. I dealt with PTSD all those years , I was unwell, unhappy and dragging myself. These so called classmates could see I was not good, I was suffering but they still chose to make fun of my misery.
It was difficult for people to accept that I accepted myself the way I am and was so confident. That it looked like I was being pretentious and selfish because I stood up for myself.
But today these are the people that compliment me.
Once I met a guy classmate outside school at a near by shop, I saw him and smiled like a normal person would do. He thought it’s an invitation. Next day the whole guy gang stalked me and rumours were spread that we were together. I was disgusted. I was dating someone, he was disgusted.
I got worked up one day, I lashed out and took a stand. They saw she’s ignoring and can cause them misery so-
They stopped.
I started dating a senior at the same time. Ps. I am Genuinely thankful to him for support at that time.
Anyway
Even After I took a stand for myself, so bold and strong that it made them stop and not annoy anyone else anymore, STILL every freaking one said it wasn’t me , it was my boyfriend of 2 days that made this misery go away. It wasn’t my voice but his that made it all vanish.
I was angry, so annoyed , but I also learnt ,
I learnt that this world will choose to not acknowledge or accept a woman’s voice because they don’t want them to be seen as strong dominating figures. They don’t want that and will do anything to hide it.
Don’t stop.
You don’t have to stop. You have to speak, you have to shout. Demand for your rights, they will try to put you down but you gotta climb again.
You have the power, trust yourself.
Growing up as a woman , you’re subjected to discrimination everywhere you go. To a point that you may not even realise that it’s discrimination because it’s so normalised. Till now I have been taught to cover up to be civilised even if I can still get raped wearing a burkha, to listen to elders to be claimed as sophisticated even when the elders can be massively disrespectful and body shame me, slut shame me.
To unlearn all the damage and subsequent trauma is not easy and every woman and every person for that matter doing it, you got this. It takes one step, one NO and one Yes to shatter down millions of years of partriarchy.
Just remember that You’re not alone
You have all of it in you
More power to you !
I never got an apology, I don’t seek one too
But if you have done something In your past that you’re ashamed of, apologise to the victim. If you have ever been racist, sexist or have shamed someone, go apologise, it helps.
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